People can be quick to interpret your pride and singing passion for narcissism. Have you ever been called a "diva"? Do people make you feel like you're bragging when you talk about your talent? Do you worry about acting vain?
According to HelpGuide.org an inflated self-image, an excessive need for admiration and delusions of grandeur are personality traits that narcissists have. What if you:
Spend an awful lot of time focusing on yourself and your art...
Frequently ponder about your worth and vocal potential...
Believe your talent is above average...
Ask for special privileges and consideration...
Make frequent videos of yourself singing and consequently posting them on multiple social media outlets...
Regularly ask people to like, subscribe and comment on your posts...
Put great energy towards self-promotion and making your achievements known...
Well I guess to some people, you may come across as a narcissist. Aren't we all at least a little bit though? Isn't it the point when you're an artist to express yourself and share your work? Sharing a bit (or a LOT) of your singing with your family, friends, colleagues, social media connections and basically doing all that you can to get those views and plays is not always received the way it was intended. That's why if you're a little bit like me, the idea of incessant selfies, audio recordings and videos make you feel self-conscious about obsessing too much about yourself.
Looking at yourself.
Listening to yourself.
Filming yourself.
Talking about yourself.
Writing about yourself.
Posting about yourself.
Watching yourself.
Listening to yourself again.
Repeatedly.
Fundamentally, singers are NOT narcissists. Those who don't know you well nor understand your goals and where you are coming from however, may not be so forgiving. They may not see that your intentions are humble. There might even be a little bit of jealousy surrounding you when unexpected success grows to a surprising extent. In my opinion, every win should be celebrated; small and big! I'm not sure why people don't always appreciate that.
Nevertheless, coming to terms with the fact that they might be right, that you may potentially be acting narcissistically, is not only the first step in turning the situation around but also a powerful strategy to avoid becoming overly narcissistic.
While in a celebrity-driven culture, promoting your music is absolutely necessary if you aspire to make a name for yourself some day. You can keep your ego in check by taking small steps to remain modest.
For example, avoid comparing yourself or discrediting other singers. Making statements that place your singing above everyone else's conceals great insecurities. On the other hand confidence is without a doubt attractive, therefore show yourself in your best light but also take interest in what others contribute. Applaud their accomplishments. Reciprocate praise!
Continue to think highly of yourself but also willingly accept constructive feedback. Be careful when you give feedback since unwanted opinions can be perceived as arrogant. Sometimes it's better to keep advice quiet.
Save the big persona for the stage and do share the spotlight! Indeed, glamor and flamboyance have their place and time. Choose wisely.
Don't take what isn't yours. Always ask permission to borrow a bandmate's instrument. Also share duties by helping to tidy up after rehearsal or a show, even when you had very little equipment of your own to put away.
Important: if you say something inappropriate or realize that you behaved poorly, don't make excuses and apologize as soon as possible instead.
Treat others with care and kindness. You can never go wrong here!
Finally, let go of your need for recognition. Remain authentic. Don't care too much about what others think of you. You do YOU! Sing because of the joy it gives. Don't be too attached to outcomes. Sing your heart out and if it brings another person some purpose then you will have elevated both of your spirits. Vibration and connectedness lead to compassion and unity. Take human love to its height.
A little bit of narcissism is not a big deal and is probably healthy unless it gets in the way of admitting your shortcomings. At the end of the day, I want to see you sing at your best, put yourself out in the world, get somewhere in music and even make it to the top. But if your vocal skills are holding you back, wake up and smell the coffee.
Time to reassess your options!
How would it feel to totally understand your voice and be able to sing anything on command? To actually walk the talk? Has getting full control over your voice been on the menu? If so, then working together will yield the results you seek.
Don't waste another minute and contact me to book your FREE consultation session. I will be all eyes and ears and more than pleased to hear all about your vision for success. Go to:
Put your money where you mouth is. Let us hear your BEAUTIFUL singing!
One cream, no sugar!
Val